Have you ever felt lonely in a crowded room? I have. There I was, surrounded by people at a party, everyone chatting and smiling, while I stood there feeling completely invisible. Despite the physical proximity, I felt a million miles away from everyone.

Isolation can take many forms. Sometimes it’s physical—being unable to leave the house because your loved one needs constant care. But often, the most painful isolation is emotional. You’re physically present, but emotionally disconnected.

The Hidden Isolation of Caregiving

As caregivers, we experience unique forms of isolation. Sometimes circumstances impose it upon us—we simply can’t leave the house or attend social functions because of our caregiving responsibilities. But I’ve found that we also self-isolate, and for so many painful reasons:

Guilt – “I should be doing more for my loved one instead of socializing.”

Exhaustion – “I barely have energy to get through the day, let alone make small talk.”

Fear – “What if something happens while I’m away?”

Feeling like a burden – “Nobody wants to hear about my struggles. I’ll just be the downer in the group.”

When my son was in the difficult months of his mystery illness, I turned down countless invitations. Not because I couldn’t arrange care—my husband was always willing to step in—but because I felt like I had nothing positive to contribute. My life revolved around medications, doctor appointments, and decline. Who wants to hear about that over coffee?

But here’s what I’ve learned: isolation, while sometimes necessary, is not how we were designed to live.

Created for Community

Scripture reminds us repeatedly that we were created for connection. In Genesis, God Himself declares, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). This wasn’t just about marriage—it was about the fundamental human need for community.

The writer of Hebrews urges us: “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching” (Hebrews 10:24-25).

Even in the early church, believers understood that faith flourishes in community: “They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42).

But perhaps the most compelling example comes from Jesus Himself. The Son of God, who certainly could have accomplished His mission alone, deliberately surrounded Himself with community. He called twelve disciples to walk with Him, learn from Him, and simply be with Him.

Jesus didn’t create community as one more obligation for our already-busy lives. He modeled it as the pattern for well-designed living. I have experienced the healing power of community and connection when I allowed myself to seek support and companionship during hard times, and I invite you to do the same.

The Healing Power of Connection

Research confirms what Scripture has always taught—human connection is vital to our wellbeing. Studies show that meaningful social connections can:

* Reduce stress and anxiety

* Lower depression

* Strengthen our immune system

* Even extend our lifespan

For caregivers specifically, connection provides something precious: perspective. When we’re isolated, our problems can seem insurmountable. But in community, we gain new insights and realize we’re not alone in our struggles.

As Solomon wisely observed: “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10).

I remember a particularly difficult week during my caregiving journey. I had spent a week in the hospital with my son, and I was running on fumes. During the worship service that Sunday, I finally broke down. A friend of mine simply sat beside me, handed me tissues, and whispered, “I’ve been there too.” That simple acknowledgment of my struggle was like water in a desert.

Taking Small Steps Toward Connection

If you’re feeling isolated in your caregiving journey, I encourage you to take one small step toward connection this week. It doesn’t have to be dramatic:

* Text a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while

* Join an online support group for caregivers

* Ask your church if they have a care ministry

* Invite someone to visit you at home if you can’t get out

Remember Paul’s beautiful description of the church as a body: “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it” (1 Corinthians 12:26).

You are not meant to walk this caregiving journey alone. Your struggles, your tears, your exhaustion—they all matter to God, and they should matter to God’s people.

As you care for your loved one, remember that you also need care. Connection isn’t a luxury—it’s essential to your wellbeing and to your ability to continue giving care.  I pray that these words will give you the encouragement you need to reach out to those around you. A kind word, a hug, or even a shared tear can make all the difference in your day. You weren’t designed to shoulder the weight of caregiving in your own strength. Lean into the strength and comfort the Lord provides – through His Word and His people.

Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of connection and fellowship. We were not designed to live in isolation, but rather in community. May we seek companionship and support rather than retreating from it. Give us strength when we feel weak and weary. Help us to see Your love in the people around us and to accept help, prayer, and companionship on this journey.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

This article is part of our series for 2025: Say Yes to Less. I encourage you to say yes to less isolation and more connection. I know that trying to build connection can feel like one more thing we have to work at when we are overwhelmed. It can seem easier in the moment to skip out on the coffee date or postpone family movie night, but these connections will fill us up in ways that we may not realize. Take the time to be present, not just with your care recipient, but with yourself and the other people in your life.

If you enjoyed this article, you might also like Look to the Lord: Finding Focus in Life’s Chaos.

https://amychastain.com/index.php/2024/10/03/look-to-the-lord-finding-focus-in-lifes-chaos/