Perfect Love: Finding Assurance in Christ When Caregiving Brings Fear
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.” — 1 John 4:18
Those “what-ifs” — they can run you right down into the ground.
I felt it clearly that day. Fear wrapped its cold icy hand around my heart as we drove to the ER. The specter of catastrophe loomed over me as I thought about how the day might end. I listened to my husband struggle to breathe as I navigated the entrance to the hospital. His oxygen was low, his heart rate was upwards of 140, and honestly, it felt like mine wasn’t far from it.
In those moments of crisis, I gave in to fear. I allowed myself to extrapolate bad outcomes as my mind raced ahead to worst-case scenarios. Does this sound familiar in your caregiving journey? Has fear ever gripped you so hard that you felt it down to your core?
The Battle Between Fear and Assurance
As caregivers, we live in the tension between fear and assurance. We’re responsible for someone we deeply love, and that responsibility can easily transform into worry, anxiety, and even paralyzing fear. Every symptom becomes a potential crisis. Every setback feels like failure.
But God has another way for us.
God’s perfect love for us and His love for those in our care is made to cast out fear.
Fear is a normal human emotion, but God instructs us time and again: “Do not be afraid.” This phrase appears in Scripture hundreds of times. He knows we are prone to fear, and He offers us a way out. We don’t need to remain stuck in the anticipation of bad outcomes, of heartbreak, of not getting what we want.
From Crisis to Comfort
In the ER that day, my fear did not disappear in a spectacular moment of relief, but rather slowly eased its way out of the room. The busy but coordinated movements of the nurses were both alarming (four people working on him at the same time) and reassuring. They knew what they were doing. They worked in perfect concert to stabilize my husband, run tests to find answers, and help him feel better in the meantime.
Their professionalism was a reminder that they see this every day. The moment that felt like a crisis in my family was, in some ways, mundane to them. And if it hadn’t been? We were still in the right place.
The Power of Prayer in Caregiving
When friends and family asked me, “What can I do?” I had a ready answer: “Please say a prayer.”
That prayer, the knowing we are being prayed for…that sends fear to the curb. It is comforting to know that those who love us are offering up their prayers to the One who loves us all. He is in control. Nothing surprises God.
As we lean into our trust of the LORD, knowing all of that – whom should we fear?
Putting Fear in Its Place
Fear can show up in unexpected moments. Sometimes we see it coming, but other times it jumps out from around a corner like a boogeyman. What if we could learn to tell our fear to hit the road? What if when we felt those icy fingers of dread coming for us, we knew how to combat it?
How do we fight something as powerful as fear? We fight back with the love of Jesus and our assurance in Christ.
We will face trouble in this world. We are in that in-between place of the now and the not yet. We are in a broken, sinful world, but waiting for the day when all will be made right, when there will be no more tears or mourning.
“’He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passes away,’” Revelation 21:4
Until then, we have practical and spiritual tools to combat fear in our caregiving journey:
Practical Ways to Tame Fear:
- Prepare for likely problems before they arise
- Have those difficult conversations ahead of time
- Build a support network of people who can step in when needed
- Create emergency plans and keep important information accessible
- Take care of your own physical and emotional needs
Spiritual Care to Put Fear in Its Place:
- Begin each day with prayer and Scripture
- Remember God’s faithfulness in past difficulties
- Surround yourself with fellow believers who will pray with and for you
- Meditate on verses about God’s love and care
- Practice thanksgiving even in difficult circumstances
When we ground our caregiving in the assurance we have in Christ, fear loses its grip on our hearts. We may still experience moments of anxiety and worry, but they no longer define us or our care for our loved ones.
Perfect love—Christ’s love—truly does cast out fear. And as we receive that love, we can give care not from a place of fear, but from a place of courage, boldness, and unwavering hope.
No matter where you are in your caregiving journey today, remember – you are held by the One who holds all things. Rest in that assurance, dear caregiver. You are not alone.
This article is part of our series for 2025: Say Yes to Less. I encourage you to say yes to less fear and more assurance. I know that caregiving can feel frightening, overwhelming, and isolating. I can also share that, in hindsight, I can see that the Lord never left my side. May you find assurance in the knowledge that He loves you and He goes before you in every situation.
Heavenly Father, give us hearts full of the bold assurance in Christ that you desire for us. Strengthen our resolve when we feel weak. Give us patience and a gentle touch so that we might bring Your love with us wherever we go. We love You. Amen.
