My son glared at the nurse with every ounce of emotion his young body could muster. He was furious. I couldn’t blame him—he wasn’t actually mad at her, but rather at his situation. And who could fault him? I would be grumpy too if I hadn’t been allowed to eat for several days.

After nearly a week in the hospital, he thought something was finally going his way. The doctors had decided to advance him to a liquid diet, and the nurse asked if he wanted a popsicle. He perked up at the unexpected offer. She told him there were three flavor choices: cherry, grape, and orange.

She retrieved the frozen treat—one of those familiar double popsicles wrapped in white plastic that I remember from my own childhood—and he smiled as he took it from her hand. His happiness, however, was short-lived. As he peeled back the plastic, he realized the popsicle wasn’t cherry.

A flash of anger shot across his face. Raising his voice, he complained, “This is grape! Everybody KNOWS grape is the WORST!”

The outburst was uncharacteristic for him, and I quickly admonished his behavior. He apologized to the nurse and politely asked if he could have a different popsicle.

What to Do When It’s Hard to Be Grateful

 Perhaps you’ve experienced a moment like my son’s. The truth is, sometimes it’s hard to feel grateful when, on the surface, there doesn’t seem to be much to be thankful for. This can feel especially challenging as we approach Thanksgiving and are bombarded with messages to “be grateful” or “give thanks” while we’re just trying to get through the day.

It’s important to remember that biblical thanks and gratitude are different from the commercialized, feel-good messages we often see during the holiday season.

“Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise; give thanks to Him and praise His name.” —Psalm 100:4 (NIV)

When gratitude feels difficult, go back to the basics.

Give Thanks to Him:

• Thank You, Jesus, for saving me.
• Thank You for choosing me to be in Your family.
• Thank You for Your grace.

Praise His Name:

• You are the Most High Lord.
• You are our beloved Savior.
• You are Christ the Redeemer.
• You are the Great I Am.
• You are the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world.

Practicing Gratitude is Not the Same as Celebrating Hardship

We learn from the word to, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” —1 Thessalonians 5:18

Notice that this verse instructs us to give thanks in all circumstances, rather than for all circumstances (emphasis mine).

Giving thanks while caring for your cancer-stricken husband is not the same as giving thanks for cancer. Praising the Lord while sitting beside your mom during dialysis is not the same as celebrating kidney disease.

Gratitude doesn’t require us to ignore the pain or pretend the hardship doesn’t exist. Instead, it calls us to anchor our hearts in the goodness of God, even when life feels heavy.

Remember That Jesus Understands Your Pain

The holiday season can be especially difficult for those walking through grief and hardship. When feelings of disappointment, frustration, or anger threaten to overwhelm you, remember who you are and Whose you are:

• You are loved.
• You are a child of God.
• You have Jesus—the Great High Priest who understands your pain.

The scripture continues:

“May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and He will do it.” —1 Thessalonians 5:23–24

A Prayer to Soften Our Hearts

Heavenly Father, we love You. We confess that sometimes it is hard to feel thankful in the midst of difficulty and heartbreak. Draw us ever nearer to You, as we desperately need Your grace and comfort. Help us to remember that You are always near, waiting for us with open arms. For that, we are truly grateful.

Amen.